Professor Watkins gave me this flyer when I said that I was struggling to help with research while also waking enough to afford rent.
I really don't have time for another job and I hate working at the coffee shop. I always get blisters on my feat and I'm not even any good at it. I donno maybe it was crazy to stay in school. At this point I'm just putting off the real world. I just keep getting drawn to the brain and how it works. I can't help it, it's like there's something in my own brain that it can't process for itself because...I donno.
I sound crazy searching for something behind my own eyes. Something totally elusive but there all the time. A ghost or a shadow of a memory. Geez, now I sound like I'm in a horror film.
I went in for the weirdo study today an holy crap, it pays money! Seriously, I think they've get the decimal point in the wrong place, I would have been exstatic with $20. Oh well, I mean, I feel kinda bad for raking it, but not bad enough to not get paid. It's not like I'm using the money for any thing bad anyway, paying the bills of a broke college student is I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I mean, I want to be help and do a good job but as far as I can tell this study is about how people respond to total confusion when sceens are involved.
Speaking of which, Dunraven can somehow control my phone?
Hmm...that didn't seem creepy until I saw it written out. I should probly, find out who's voicing the man behind the curtain...or woman I mean. (Sigh, and that was lmost a perfect wizard of Oz' reference)
Headed back in for another study this week, I can't shake the feeling that something is off. It's stupid, anyone else would just take the money and run. I donno what it is. I Googled Hank Johnson, he's apperently a congressman for Georgia, Does that mean there is going to be an assination attempt? I mean that would be crazy. I probably have the wrong Hank Johnson.
Oh wait! "Hank Johnson Niantic" brings up an "XM" scientist. I donno, this all seems fake to me. Ugh! So why can't I shake this feeling, stupid Halloween still giving me the heebie jeebies. Maybe if I can figure out who's talking to me. Maybe I can come in early and scope the place out! Boo, no, way to busy with class stuff to "case a joint". Maybe if they had a reason to enter the room...
Oooh! Coffee! That's nice and throughly not suspicious, right? Feels good to have a plan :)
I have been so crazy tired lately, it's like no matter how much I sleep it's not enough. Looking online, it says that stress is a main indicator, and I know that's the reason why. Still, that's not helpful, knowing the reason and dealing with it are two completely different things.
I mean scool, life, and now this bizarro study! I dreamed about it last night. Nightmare was more like it. I was trapped in the room and could feel all these eyes on me and then I was somehow watering as well like even my eyes are on me. My head works. I have to go back in and I just really don't want to. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm not I don't know.
What is even happening in that room anyway? Nothing! Some weird info dump / boring DBS videos, i ask questions that don't get answered than leave even more confused.
Bleh, I'm starting to wonder if the money is worth the amount of time I spend worrying.
I swear, I think I've started a relationship with this room I can't stop thinking about it. I mean, well, it's a lot like my exes. Started off great (tall, dark, handsome), but now, every time I go in for another "study" it feels like my fight or flight mechanism gets triggered. Ugh, I can hear my future shrink "Classic abandonment issues from being left by her closed-off single Dad, she's turned inward to find things that are wrong in her own mind. I suggest she go back to small town Indiana as she's clearly not cut out for city life. And, if nature doesn't fix her, she should try padded walls." ...stupid imaginary shrink.